Kindness Is a Must
Why is kindness essential on the Autistic Spectrum Disorder journey?
Well, you probably have noticed that this autism parenting journey is no cakewalk.
It comes with a lot of daily frustration, fear, guilt, and overwhelm that can cause heavy wear and tear on your mind, body, and soul, and because of that, you need to bring a massive amount of kindness to yourself.
It’s easy to let stress and overwhelm dictate the way you feel and how you behave when you are so exhausted from trying to find answers and help that your child needs along with dealing with explosive tantrums and meltdowns your child may be having on a regular basis.
Trust me, I know. It is hard.
But this is what I learned along the way.
I have learned that if I practice kindness (especially to myself), I can live with more joy. When I am kinder to myself, I find strength. Kindness is one of my greatest sources of strength. When I practice kindness, I am more generous, considerate, and friendly, and living more joyfully.
Kindness is a choice just as deciding whether or not to brush your teeth before bedtime or to extend kindness to yourself when you lose patience with your child or fall short in some other way. When you are tempted to be hard on yourself, you can make a choice to be kinder just as you would for your child.
We make roughly 35,000 choices a day. So, I believe that you can also choose kindness throughout the day. And to have awareness of kindness, we need to practice it.
I ask mothers that I coach to practice small acts of self-kindness daily. At first it can be difficult to find ways to practice but with a little dedication, self-kindness will become a part of daily life.
I believe that self-kindness is one of our superpowers to live with more joy consistently on the autism parenting journey.
The first step towards self-kindness each and every day is to choose it. I know that I want to be a kinder person. I believe that kindness can change how I live my life for the better. Once you choose kindness, your life too will change for the better.
Small Acts of Self-Kindness Practice:
Step 1: To begin, take a few deep breaths.
Step 2: Picture yourself doing an act of kindness for someone else.
Step 3: Feel what doing something kind for someone else feels like. Feel the feeling.
Step 4 Now picture doing a small act of kindness for yourself.
Step 5: Feel the kindness and go do this small act of kindness for yourself.
If your small act of kindness feels too big, then make it smaller. Make it smaller until it feels just as good as the act of kindness you felt for someone else. This is important because if it feels too big, you may not do it at all.
You can do more than one small act of self-kindness a day. When I coach moms, I have noticed that it is easier to create acts of kindness for others. So, be patient with yourself.
If this feels like a challenge, take a moment and make a list of small acts of kindness that you would like for yourself. Choose one from your list and practice it daily until you are ready for a different one.
You will begin to feel lighter, and more relaxed as your self-kindness grows. Remember it is essential to begin with yourself. Your kindness and energy will grow.
Enjoy your self-kindness practice!
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The days following hearing the words “Joseph is autistic,” were some of my darkest days. I was living with the deepest pain I had felt in my 32 years of life. It was my first life tsunami. I didn’t know the way out to find the light. It felt like instantly being lost and not knowing which way to go.